Fathers Day and Memories

 
I will be quite honest, I begin this blog with no direction other than I should write something. My week has been a roller coaster with no change in direct sight. Fathers Day is coming up and for us fathers there can be no better thanks than our kids showing their love for us (and hopefully being good for the day). I, as well, hope to convey my thanks to my dad and my grandfathers. I have not always gotten along with all of them but it is with their guidance that has shaped me to the man that I am today. I can literally take many of my personality traits and pin them to each of them and in other ways I can say that it is because of them that I am the exact opposite of them. We wont get into specifics ha ha.

It is funny the memories I have had pop into my head as I have written and re-written the following paragraphs a half dozen times now. The message I hope to convey never quite coming through. I owe my dad more than I could ever repay. He worked extremely hard to provide for us and in many ways missed out on my early childhood because of it. Having worked away from my family I understand just how taxing that can be on a man, but you get up and go to work to provide for those you love, you work harder and longer in hopes of completing the project so you can see your family more. Is this really the American Dream? Or is it a mere chase of that dream?

Lessons learned and the change of what is truly important can take a long time to figure out. For a man who spent 20 plus years trying to get ahead the realization of what you missed is sobering... as it should be. Memories of my father while I was a child mostly revolve around hunting and work. I can remember the hard lessons he taught me about firearms, electricity, and respect.  Memories of how my dad and grand dad treated me a lot more grown up when it was just us. Besides the seemingly almost constant work, I also remember a lot of deer seasons where my dad would pull me out of school for the week so he could spend time with me away from the busy norm. I remember following him out into the hills and stepping on ever twig, branch, or leaf that could make noise enough to be heard for 5 miles. How he ever kept from ringing my neck, I will never understand. 

 Of my grandfathers, I have many assorted memories that have stuck over the years. My grandpa Johnny, for whom I am named, was always there and he used to take me to their cabin often for the weekend to take care of the Christmas trees they sold every year. Mostly I think he just wanted to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle in the valley. I also followed him around in the hills before I was old enough to hunt myself. He had a different type of patience with me, preferring to try to keep my interest directed on something and explaining why things in nature happen. My Grandpa Tom and I did not always see eye to eye but it was with him that I caught my first fish, a rainbow trout, in a cold mountain stream not far from Mt Lassen. While I learned a lot about wildlife from my father and his father, I learned about the care of domesticated animals and livestock from Grandpa Tom. When I was young he always seemed very gruff, but in fleeting moments his sense of humor would reveal more about a man who lived an extremely harsh life. I have never seen a man change from one extreme to another such as I have in him. 

I am a father now, my daughter is 4 years old and about to start school. To say she is excited would be an understatement. It has been a mixed bag of emotions for me. For the first year of her life I rarely missed a day with her. We spent countless weekends camping, or going for drives, and just generally having fun as a family. Sadly, I was not there for her second birthday having been working out of town for 2 months prior and 2 months after. It seems to have been hit and miss since and with her starting school soon I do not want to miss much more time with her if I can help it. At least not in the capacity that I have previous. As parents we, of course, have to do what ever it takes but I hope to find a better way. 


So as Fathers Day comes along, I would like to encourage fathers to think of it in a different way. Take the day to show your kids what they mean to you. Take the day to spend with them, express yourself to them, and let them know what it means to you to be their father. Take the day to teach them something fun and exciting. Go fishing or go do something out of the normal. Take the time to enjoy being a father!